U mad, bro?: Pittsburgh fans tear into the Penguins, Pirates and even... the Maulers?

You didn’t think that just because the Pittsburgh Maulers are a start-up, minor league, spring football team that plays their home games in Birmingham, Ala., they’ll escape the wrath of “U mad, bro?”, did you?

Hey, if “Pittsburgh” is in their name, they are not immune.

The Steelers know this. The Penguins know this. And the Pirates, well, they probably know this better than anyone else.

One game, one loss for the Maulers. And it … is … on from the fans!

I’m not talking about bashing the USFL. The lack of fans in the stands. Some of the goofy camera angles. The second-level talent.

I’m talking about criticizing the players. The coaches. The play calling. The Xs-and-Os. It’s like the Thursday after a Steelers-Ravens game around here.

Welcome to the big leagues, Maulers. Thankfully, you’ve also got the Pens and Bucs to take some of the heat off your shoulders.

Steve wanted to comment on my column where I suggested the Penguins’ goal over the last few games of the regular season needed to be more about sharpening their skills more so than worrying about where they finish in the standings?

“Totally agree. How do you sharpen a bowling ball?”

Hmm. Good question. But they better figure it out before they leave themselves another 7-10 split in the postseason.

“D P” isn’t happy with Mike Sullivan these days.

Early onset Bylsma disease

— D P (@DJ_D_Peezy) April 9, 2022

Well, D P, Sullivan has been coaching the Penguins for seven years now. Bylsma only lasted six. And I’ve been hearing this analogy since the end of the Washington Capitals series in 2018.

So, I’m not sure how “early” the “onset” is.

George isn’t happy with Pirates management.

“Adding some excitement and power with Oneil Cruz in the lineup would be great. But God forbid his clock starts ticking. You could assemble a pretty competitive team with the guys they have gotten rid of in the last few years, rather than pay them.”

George, you have to save all those years for the back end of his contract so that the Pirates can eventually get the most of his talents bef…

… uh, I mean, make him as marketable as possible to trade him away for the next batch of prospects they can use to sell false hope for the future.

OK, let’s get to some Maulers bashing. Take it away, Flip.

IMO, the Mauler QBs just killed this offense. Doubt any OC would get it done when the QBs play this bad.

— F. S. Flip Fisher (@Flipsteeler) April 19, 2022

This is beautiful. What channel airs the Maulers postgame show? This guy needs to be a regular caller.

Steve isn’t letting the Maulers ease in either.

Just the fact that the “run every time” offense wasn’t working all first half- to then ASK the QB’s what they want to do. And yes, QB’S- because both are about

— Steel Funkuss (@GFunkuss) April 19, 2022

Pfft! And you thought trashing the quarterbacks and ripping play calling was just for the guys who play at Heinz Field? We are equal opportunity in this “ta’hn,” my friends.

In my column wrapping up the Maulers debut, David picked up my reference to corgi racing on ESPN2 while the Maulers were on FS1.

“Maulers who? Where can we do any OTB on the Corgi racing? I didn’t know this was a thing.”

Neither did I, David. But my guess is after seeing the high-end potential of what this sleeping giant of a sport can be, you’ll be able to get odds at the Rivers Casino quite soon.

Talk about catching something great completely by accident. I now give you the 2021 Corgi Races championship final#ESPN2#Corgis pic.twitter.com/OxJ3he9kKN

— Hank Scorpio (@WestsideNiner) April 19, 2022

Robert has Maulers fever, too.

“I tuned in for a hot minute with the score 17-3 (Tampa Bay) and the Maulers needing a 3rd down stop, and they managed to commit two penalties on the same play.”

I didn’t see that one, Robert. I may have flipped over to the corgi racing at that point. But did you also happen to catch the play where they threw short of the first down marker in the red zone on a fourth down, trailing by two touchdowns?

That looked — how can I put this? — “oddly similar” to a certain other football team I watch on occasion.

Meanwhile, “Mr. PGH” would prefer we remain patient and allow for our long-dormant Maulers loyalties to simmer before we get too critical.

Some of us bleed Purple and Renaissance Red, Tim

— Mr.PGH (@PGHLivin) April 19, 2022

Mr. PGH raises a good point. I think we need Wiz Khalifa to write a new Maulers-specific song.

“Red and purple, red and purple! Red and purple, red and purple! Red and purple!”

Finally, this guy wants Kirby Wilson to be one-and-done as Maulers head coach.

As in, one game. Not one season.

Kirby Wilson has to go. He's embarrassing Pittsburgh. Todd Haley is treating him like a sidewalk outside of Tequila Cowboy.

— Local Hero™ (@HofSpillane) April 19, 2022

Is it just me, or do you get the feeling most people who watched this game really didn’t care if the Maulers won or lost … they just didn’t want to see Haley win?

By the way, there is another Tequila Cowboy. But, sadly, it is in Nashville. Not Birmingham.

I wonder if they serve chicken salad there.