Tim Benz: If Pirates, Reds weren't so lame, they could have a decent rivalry

Given all the attention on how the Pirates may retaliate against Derek Dietrich preening after his three home runs Tuesday, tempers were a little hot Wednesday afternoon in Cincinnati.

The Pirates beat the Reds, 7-2. But it wasn’t without incident.

Pirates pitcher Clay Holmes, not exactly renowned for his control (34 strikeouts vs. 30 walks in his MLB career), hit Reds third baseman Eugenio Suarez late in the eighth inning with the Pirates leading 7-0.

Wish Suarez would have decked that POS. #reds @EvilJoeyVotto #BornToBaseball @reds pic.twitter.com/aumoJ6DmI1

— Michael Schutte (@MikeSchutte) May 29, 2019

Jameson Taillon broke Suarez’s thumb with a pitch last year. So he was a little touchy.

Eugenio Suarez was told by Pirates reliever Clay Holmes and catcher Elias Diaz that they did not intend to hit him.#BornToBaseball | #Reds pic.twitter.com/IZr0BnDRuM

— FOX Sports Ohio (@FOXSportsOH) May 29, 2019

This time, X-rays were negative on Suarez’s hand.

Manager David Bell got ejected after arguing with the umpires. It appears he feels that they didn’t do enough to protect his players. Presumably, Bell was upset that Holmes wasn’t ejected or warned.

He claims the Pirates are known for throwing at batters.

#Reds manager David Bell. We know that team will intentionally throw at people. We have to take matters into our own hands. pic.twitter.com/fyNcwm0llL

— Jay Morrison (@JayMorrisonATH) May 29, 2019

The Pirates are right in the middle of the league — 16th out of 30 teams — in hit batters, with 22. The Reds are 18th with 21.

Bell also insists that Suarez was just sticking up for himself and that he was doing the same thing as a manager when he got ejected.

#Pirates #Reds Rivalry continues pic.twitter.com/bvsMNAtzHl

— Charles Tommarello (@grunge777) May 30, 2019

Suarez “protected” himself? How, exactly? By walking a quarter of the way out to the mound and saying “OK” before slinking to first base?

Yeah. That was awfully intimidating. Especially with his blonde, boy-band dye job. It looks like he combed Antonio Brown’s mustache through his hair.

Then — to be clear — Bell announced that he “protected” his player by getting ejected?

When did that occur? Did I miss it? Was it when he was having a slow-burn hissy-fit like a soccer mom at a Chardonnay lunch?

He didn’t get ejected so much as he got escorted out of the club by security at closing time.

It was almost as if the crew chief got bored and tossed him because he was taking too long to make his point.

Afterwards, Taillon got into a Twitter hissing contest with former Reds pitcher Jon Moscot.

Did you “just miss” down the middle on all of the homers you gave up in the MLB? Everyone is human, it wasn’t intentional. But, people are entitled to their opinions.

— Jameson Taillon (@JTaillon19) May 30, 2019

So, to recap. Dietrich punked the Pirates two games in a row.

If the Bucs retaliated at all, they did so by throwing at the wrong guy.

Then the Reds responded with the weakest attempt at almost fighting in the history of baseball, followed by the most forced ejection of all time.

Finally, the fur ended up flying more on social media then it did on the field. And that happened between one guy who is retired and another guy who is on the 60-day injured list.

If only the Reds and Pirates weren’t both so lame, this would be one heck of a rivalry.