Tim Benz: Josh Bell trade just latest in never-ending cycle for Pirates

At 11:59 p.m. on New Year’s Eve, check Twitter.

No, not to see if 2020 gave us one last kick to the crotch on the way out the door.

To see if the Pittsburgh Pirates did.

Maybe that’s when they’ll announce their latest news dump. Um, I mean salary dump.

Eh, what’s the difference? The move gets dumped on Pittsburgh baseball fans regardless of how we characterize it.

The team announced the trade of Josh Bell at 2:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve, just as Santa was getting the reindeer tied to the sleigh. Why not push Jameson Taillon, Joe Musgrove, or Adam Frazier out the door as we are pouring the champagne?

If one of those guys is sent elsewhere, maybe they’ll celebrate the chance of winning a World Series. Many more New Year’s Eve parties will come and go before we have an opportunity at one of those in Pittsburgh. So let’s raise a glass to them and toast their parole after serving their time in Major League Baseball’s halfway house, known as PNC Park.

In raw baseball terms, I’m not going to overcook the departure of Bell or any of the familiar names that general manager Ben Cherington may trade between now and spring training. I’m not going to be a hypocrite about it. I didn’t think they’d contend in 2021 with those guys, so why should I think the current landscape is changing without them?

That monstrous first half of 2019 is likely as good as Bell is ever going to get. And he probably needs to be a designated hitter eventually.

On a good team, Musgrove isn’t a No.1 pitcher. He’s likely fourth or fifth in the rotation. Just like Frazier is a utility guy off the bench. Maybe Taillon never gets healthy and back to his 2018 form.

Their limits as players exist whether it’s in Pittsburgh or elsewhere.

But, boy, guys sure do seem to help teams when they leave here, don’t they? Just look at Gerrit Cole, Charlie Morton, Austin Meadows, Tyler Glasnow, Mark Melancon and Daniel Hudson in recent years.

So maybe these current Pirates will get better elsewhere, too, assuming they are dealt.

Which I do assume. Because even by their relatively cheap, sub-30-year-old status, all those guys aren’t cheap enough or young enough for the Pirates. As of now, none of them makes more than $4.25 million. But what does that matter if somebody else can fill their roster spot for $1 million or less?

What will their absences do? Cost the team another loss or two apiece?

Pfft! Big deal. We’ll see about 100 of those this season one way or another, assuming the league plays a relatively full slate of games.

I know, I know. Bell yielded pitchers Eddy Yean and Wil Crowe in return from the Washington Nationals. Crowe has “upside” and fills a need on the team now.

Which is basically the way Morton, Melancon and Musgrove were described when they were acquired.

Yean is a high-end prospect that should impact the team a few years down the road. Just like Bell, Taillon, Glasnow and Meadows were supposed to do as they clomped their way through the system, enjoying mixed results once they got here.

Don’t misunderstand my frustration. I’m not making out the trade of Bell to be a baseball sin at this point. He hit .226 last year. He makes “Duck” Hodges’ throwing motion look like Dan Marino’s. Since the Fourth of July 2019, he’s been a below-average player.

I’m just bemoaning the all-too-familiar process. Hype up the prospect. Get him to PNC Park. Pump out one good season. Sell a few t-shirts. Make a few AT&T SportsNet promos. Watch him earn a spot on one All-Star Game roster. Wait for him to approach a legit contract number. And trade him for a journeyman and a prospect who won’t be in Pittsburgh for three or four years.

Oh, and if possible, do it while everyone is wondering if Ralphie is going to get his Red Rider BB gun this year. That way, no one will notice and maybe we can squeeze out a few more jersey sales as gifts.

Hey, people can exchange them for a Bryan Reynolds jersey. That’ll be good for another year or two before he starts making real money as well.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I’m not leaning on Cherington to validate my hope that Santa Claus is real. But does he have to cap the chimney on Christmas Eve?

And I’m not even asking for expensive presents. But if you take my existing toys out of my toy chest, can you at least leave me a gift card to get something decent at Walmart before next year?

Anyway, drink up on New Year’s Eve. Bid a fond farewell to 2020 and any other Pirates who may be jettisoned along with it. Your hangover should pass by Opening Day.

But — watching whatever remains of this team — expect your head to be pounding again by the seventh-inning stretch.