Mark Madden: Playing all MLB games in Arizona sounds far-fetched, but we could use some normalcy

MLB’s proposal to sequester all 30 teams and their attendant personnel in Arizona by way of starting the season there sometime in May sounds far-fetched.

But if games are played in empty ballparks, it’s going to be easy to hear the Houston Astros wallop that trash can. They won’t get away with it this time.

If MLB, the MLB Players Association, the federal government, the Arizona government and medical experts all agree this is a viable proposal, then go ahead. It’s nobody else’s business. America needs a shot of normalcy. Don’t nix it because of optics. Too much in our confused nation is being decided because of optics. (For example, the optics of every MLB player being tested for covid-19 while the general public waits.)

But if I’m a player, I’m not crazy about the Arizona plan.

As a New York Met said, “It’s the desert. Stuff doesn’t live there. It dies there.”

The players would spend months away from their families. This is pro sports, not “Big Brother.” Would commissioner Rob Manfred arrange conjugal visits?

The players make lots of money. But what about those that already have lots of money? Gerrit Cole’s wife is expecting their first child in June. Cole just signed a nine-year deal with the New York Yankees that’s worth $324 million. But Cole already has made $34 million. The Coles can get by for a while. Cole won’t be in Arizona come May.

The union might agree to the proposal. But many players could opt out.

USA Today reports owners will ask players to accept a pay cut, perhaps as high as 40%. This would be in keeping with the notion that losing revenue from tickets, concessions and parking would cost owners between 35-40% of total income.

If MLB plays a shortened schedule, the players should accept a pro-rated fraction of their salaries. But if they do the work agreed upon in their contracts, they should get the pay agreed upon in their contracts. The owners and players aren’t partners.

Taking a slight, more reasonable reduction could be considered. But 40% isn’t a cut. It’s an amputation.

The plan walks a tightrope. Do you quarantine players individually for at least two weeks before starting? What happens if players test positive? Does the plan fall apart? Are you back to square one? Could you unwittingly expose all of MLB to covid-19?

MLB is reportedly considering a host of changes if shop gets set up in Arizona:

• Balls and strikes called electronically, so the umpire won’t be close to the catcher and batter. But if everyone has been quarantined and tested, is there a need for that? If there is, won’t the catcher still be close to the batter? (The electronic ump should be used, period. That’s long overdue. Why not get all the calls right?)

• No mound visits. Forget about the pandemic. Do anything that makes the game shorter. (Perhaps, instead of adjusting their batting gloves for 45 seconds between every pitch, batters can delay play by going for hand sanitizer.)

• Expanded rosters. Bob Nightengale of USA Today says teams might keep as many as 50 players. Offensive and defensive coordinators will have to be hired.

• Players will sit 6 feet apart in the stands instead of in the dugout. Again, if everyone has been quarantined and tested, why is that necessary? I bet it’s for (sigh) optics.

• Frequent doubleheaders will be incorporated. Games that are part of a doubleheader will be seven innings. That shouldn’t be too trying, considering teams will be three deep at every position and have a 20-man pitching staff.

But afternoon games in Arizona’s summer heat might be difficult. The average high in July is 106 degrees. Not every game can be played at the Diamondbacks’ roofed Chase Field, or at night.

If a game starts at 7 p.m. in Arizona, it starts at 10 p.m. in the Eastern time zone. That won’t be good for Pirates TV ratings on AT&T SportsNet.

Elements of baseball’s sacred record book might be skewed. What if a no-hitter is thrown in a seven-inning game? Is it really a no-hitter? Anarchy will rule. (It might, anyway.) Then again, how often does a pitcher throw seven innings these days?

I would like to see MLB’s plan work. I’d also like to see the NHL resume play in North Dakota, and the NBA in Las Vegas.

But I’m guessing that none of the above happens.

It figures baseball has the most concrete plan for resumption: The sport where Pittsburgh’s team totally stinks.