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Ex-Bears quarterback Jay Cutler's search for killer of his chickens is suspense story of the summer
With the film industry and local movie theaters in the early stages of reopening amid the coronavirus pandemic, the summer’s most suspenseful murder mystery emerged from an unlikely source: former Broncos, Bears and Dolphins quarterback Jay Cutler’s Instagram account.
The saga began last week, when Cutler set out to determine who or what was responsible for a string of suspicious chicken deaths at his Tennessee home, and it had all the makings of a blockbuster — suspense, rising stakes, plot twists and a satisfying conclusion.
“We’ve got a chicken serial killer on the loose. We’ve lost quite a few. Tonight we’re going to set up a trail camera, see if it’s a coyote, bobcat, raccoon,” Cutler said in an Instagram Stories post that’s been shared on Twitter. “Could be anything. Not sure. But enough’s enough.”
He first suspected his cat.
“These ladies are a little edgy right now, so we’ve got to figure this out. There is one other possibility. Could be an inside job. Thelma over there, while she looks nice and sweet, is a savage with loose morals.”
Jay Cutler is now using his Instagram Stories, and this has the makings of an epic true crime series...?(?: Jay Cutler on IG) pic.twitter.com/bEqzRL1Ho9
— Bears Talk (@NBCSBears) June 24, 2020
Thelma was eventually cleared of wrongdoing, but the real killer proved elusive, evading a deputized rooster named Ole Blue, along with traps and trail cameras.
View this post on InstagramFirst of all. The little guy is all heart and I love him. Coolest rooster in the game by far. Ole Blue terrifies me. Pretty sure he wants to fight me, he keeps staring at me with those crazy eyes and flapping his wings. Whatever comes in the chicken yard tonight better buckle up. Ole Blue is not playing. He’s trying to fight humans. A post shared by Jay Cutler (@ifjayhadinstagram) on Jun 25, 2020 at 5:19pm PDT
“Ole Blue’s doing it. He’s on the watch,” Cutler said. “Hopefully I can get a nap in at some point and get ready for tonight because he’s out there somewhere, the culprit is.”
The trail cameras and traps came up short.
“Five cameras. Four didn’t work after I spent an hour putting in batteries and SD cards. Tested them three times. So Cuddeback cameras, you are fired. You’re off the mission.
“We got one photo. One. Going to regroup for the second time in the last 24 hours. I need coffee. Stay tuned.”
View this post on InstagramNew development. Front yard. The hits just keep coming. A post shared by Jay Cutler (@ifjayhadinstagram) on Jun 28, 2020 at 8:06am PDT
As the plot thickened, gun manufacturer Christensen Arms got involved, offering a rifle and $1,000 gift card to someone who could correctly guess “who or what is killing Jay’s chickens.” And the company sent Cutler a rifle, too.
Fox, coyote and raccoon were the leaders in the clubhouse. Some more unconventional ideas were floated, too, including the suggestion that a Sasquatch might be Cutler’s target.
View this post on InstagramReally shocked cheetah isn’t higher on the leaderboard. @christensenarms might need a recount. A post shared by Jay Cutler (@ifjayhadinstagram) on Jun 26, 2020 at 5:36pm PDT
“We’re obviously under attack,” Cutler says in one video. “Front yard. Backyard. Daylight. Nighttime. Morning. We’ve got to stop the bleeding somehow.”
Cutler, appearing visibly tired in several of his videos, eventually resolved to stay up all night to find the culprit and ensure the safety of his flock.
“Go downstairs, make a coffee. And then I’m going to climb up in the stand and see what happens. Night vision. Whole deal. Not looking forward to it. Feel like this thing’s going to come at the crack of dawn. But enough’s enough. One long night is going to be better than fighting this thing for the next three.”
Jay’s going up in the stand. Is tonight the night? pic.twitter.com/iMmEYOYopw— Bears Talk (@NBCSBears) July 1, 2020
In a July 1 post, Cutler announced the killer was dealt with. It was a raccoon.
View this post on InstagramOk. Long night. Had a pretty good storm come through. All is well and happy to report it was a raccoon. Which fits the evidence. Chicken heads were ripped off and bodies were left in the chicken yard. Gruesome stuff but reality of the situation. Ladies are now safe and sound. We can all sleep well for a few nights. Unfortunately I’m sure this raccoon has some family members. @christensenarms will be contacting the winner via email. Congrats on your winnings. While this saga is sadly ending, I’m sure there will be more. Stay tuned... A post shared by Jay Cutler (@ifjayhadinstagram) on Jul 1, 2020 at 7:14am PDT
But like any successful film franchise, Cutler’s saga set itself up for a sequel.
In an Instagram post Friday, Cutler revealed a trail cam photo showing another raccoon.
“Come on, raccoons,” he wrote. “While I respect the family bond and desire for revenge, this isn’t the fight you want. Go pick on the squirrels and chipmunks in your little forest.”
View this post on InstagramCome on raccoons. While I respect the family bond and desire for revenge, this isn’t the fight you want. Go pick on the squirrels and chipmunks in your little forest. A post shared by Jay Cutler (@ifjayhadinstagram) on Jul 3, 2020 at 3:21am PDT
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