Lori Falce: Italians deserve better than Cuomo's excuses

There are things I knew I had to accept when I married into an Italian famiglia.

I had to understand that, despite the fact most people think I am a pretty good cook, my husband would never let me make sauce. Also, that I couldn’t send him to the grocery store for cheese and expect him to come home with a block of cheddar. Nope, he would walk through the door with a mortgage payment’s worth of Parmesan, provolone and mozzarella.

I had to realize that Easter was not just a day but a whole week. That red wine was as important at the dinner table as bread and salt. That I would have to suspend my lifelong belief in phonics so I could accept “capicola” pronounced as “gabagool.”

Tacking on an Italian last name meant believing in family and faith and the value of a good grudge. It meant generosity, both with something as simple as food or as intangible as spirit.

I did not realize it was supposed to mean being OK with someone getting handsy or inappropriate or making people feel uncomfortable. But apparently that’s what New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo feels justifies the behavior that led him to announce his pending resignation after an attorney general’s report found credible evidence of sexual harassment.

“There are generational and cultural shifts that I just didn’t fully appreciate, and I should have. No excuses,” he said in a speech that was nothing but excuses.

I’m sorry, but this isn’t about being Italian. It’s not about being 63. It’s about having respect and boundaries, which should be clear to anyone of any age and any background.

My father-in-law was as Italian as a Margherita pizza and older than the latest leader of the Cuomo political dynasty. He never seemed to have trouble keeping his hands to himself and treated every lady he met the way he would like his wife or his mother treated.

My six-foot-tall bear of a husband would have crumbled to the ground at the idea he should assert himself so aggressively against a woman who worked for him because it was the Italian thing to do. I know this because my husband owned the quintessential Italian business — a pizza shop — and the ladies who worked for him walked all over him.

His uncle has so many daughters he might lose track of them, and granddaughters to boot. He is affectionate and boisterous and makes the best escarole. There is also never any mistaking his very genuine hugs for anything other than warmth and kindness.

For Cuomo to suggest that making women feel afraid or intimidated or dirty because he was placing his hands on them or talking about sex in the workplace — all while increasing penalties for sexual harassment on other people — is because he is Italian is not just a cowardly way to slink out of responsibility.

It is an offensive attempt to saddle good men with a stereotype as demeaning and dangerous as a mobster in a slick suit promising to make you sleep with the fishes.

Italians have contributed to the construction of America, defended its shores, expanded our horizons and given us some of the our finest art and food and music. They are a passionate people with big hearts. They deserve more than to be painted into a lascivious corner, especially by one of their own.