Letter to the editor: Squirrels must have high IQs

A recent letter-writer (“Voters’ IQs,” May 6, TribLIVE) took issue with assertions I put forth in my letter (“Democrats’ ads disrespectful during crisis,” April 2, TribLIVE), writing that “all Republicans must have the IQs of a squirrel.”

Respectfully, I once watched a squirrel running through the treetops on one of those high wind advisory days (with 50 mph gusts). He climbed to the very top of one oak tree, with the branches whipping violently in the gale, and gripped tight. He went out on the edge of a branch, eyed up another branch on another tree (which was not swaying in sync with his branch, but rather pitching in the opposite direction). Squirrel sized up his target, calculated wind speed vs. his branch oscillation vs. counter-oscillation of target branch, took a deep breath and leapt 30 feet to the other tree branch successfully (with the crosswinds howling). It was like a highly trained naval carrier pilot calculating wind vectors in his head as he tries to land on an aircraft carrier pitching in stormy sea. (No! I’m not saying Navy carrier pilots are squirrels! So don’t write!)

For that matter, squirrels are not only flight acrobats, but safecrackers also. I seriously ask — has mankind been able to design a squirrel-proof bird feeder? I rest my case as lawyer for the “low IQ squirrels”!

Carl Colpo

Burgettstown