I am a member of the tribe of the Unwanted. My earliest existence was shrouded in denial, secrecy, lies, shame, fear and anger that seeped into my amniotic sac and bones in lieu of prenatal care.

One parent split, while the other reluctantly carried the weight of my unwantedness into a life filled with depression, poverty and abuse.

The unwanted are not simply unplanned or unexpected. We are daily, painful reminders of what shouldn’t have been. We are a constant source of failed dreams, the reasons behind rage and regret, and a target of hate and contempt from our caregivers. We are the most vulnerable placed in the arms of the unloving because … isn’t an abusive mother better than no mother at all? Isn’t the most painful, difficult and traumatic childhood better than none?

Forcing a baby to feel unworthy of unconditional love doesn’t make society stronger. Limiting a woman’s choice increases strain to economic and community resources, perpetuating poverty and abuse. Without a right to choose, our children become our burden and not our blessing.

There should be no debate: Allowing a heart to keep beating in the womb has absolutely nothing to do with protecting a life.

Joyce Andrews

Ben Avon Heights

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