Letter to the editor: Alice in Wonderland defense

Here’s a case study for budding defense lawyers in any law school. It’s called the “Alice in Wonderland” defense:

Defense: My client didn’t do it.

Prosecution: But he admitted that he did.

Defense: Well, OK he did it, but … there was no quid pro quo.

Prosecution: Actually, there was a quid pro quo, and several people have attested to it.

Defense: So what if there was a quid pro quo? It was simply improper. It wasn’t really a “crime.”

Prosecution: Let’s hear what the witnesses have to say about that.

Defense: We don’t need to hear from no stinkin’ witnesses. The jury is rigged and the judge has already made up his mind.

Charles E. Henry

Greensburg