Harrison program highlights the dangers and warning signs of teen dating violence

Teenage relationships are bound to bring angst, but they should never come with abuse.

Still, 1 in 3 teens experiences emotional, verbal and physical abuse from a dating partner, according to the Hope Alliance, a Texas-based group that works to heal those affected by violence.

A program by the Alle-Kiski Health Foundation in Harrison will outline the dangers of teen dating violence and common warning signs.

The free presentation, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Thursday, is open to parents, teachers and the larger community.

“We want to share information on things people can look for that indicate their teen might be in an unhealthy relationship,” said Mary Bowlen, outreach and prevention education specialist for the Alle-Kiski HOPE Center in Tarentum.

“It’s definitely happening, and we’re seeing it here in this area.”

Bowlen will share common traits of abusers, who she said are empowered by having total control.

“The more the abuser can get a person isolated, where they don’t spend time with other people, that feeds their power,” she said.

If teens stop hanging out with friends or devoting less time to hobbies or pastimes, it can signal a problem, Bowlen said.

“When they stop participating in activities that they enjoy or quit the sports team, it can be the abuser trying to take control. An abusive person will always play it like, ‘I know you like it, but if you quit basketball we’ll have more time together.’ ”

Another indicator could be declining grades or a disinterest in an existing job.

Poor performance could be a result of exhaustion, Bowlen said.

“Maybe they’re not performing well at school if that abuser is texting all night and interrupting their sleep,” she said.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, teens often think behaviors like teasing and name-calling are typical.

One in four teens reported being called names or otherwise put down by their partner, according to the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

These actions have the potential to develop into serious forms of violence, Bowlen said.

About one in three teens reported knowing someone who has been assaulted by a partner, according to the Center for Violence Prevention at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Teens in same-sex relationships experience similar rates of violence and abuse.

Bowlen has presented her “Teen Violence” program across the A-K Valley, most recently in the Riverview School District.

Superintendent Neil English said the district administration and staff, particularly those at the junior-senior high school, believe that educating students on teen dating and violence is crucial for creating a positive, supportive and inclusive climate.

“This important material equips our students with the critical skills, knowledge and understanding they need to make safe and respectful choices, and better prepare them to establish and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships,” English said.

As part of the mission of the HOPE Center, Bowlen trains health care providers to identify victims of violence and also make referrals to the center’s services, which include a 24-hour crisis hotline, emergency protection and short-term shelter.

In most cases, teen dating violence doesn’t see a resolution until the victim decides they can safely leave the relationship.

“This is the part that people don’t like to hear,” Bowlen said.

“Because the victim is so isolated, they probably have very few friends they feel they can reach out to but, even if they know they have one person they can reach out to, that’s important.

In addition to the HOPE Center, she recommends a website for anyone seeking help called loveisrespect.org, which is run by teens. Chats on the site target topics such as personal safety and healthy relationships, and it can be accessed with no browser history.

“It’s kind of cool because they feel like they’re talking to someone on the same level,” Bowlen said.

“The most important thing is that the victim not try to leave on their own. Reach out to a parent, teacher, coach, anyone that can help them stay safe.”