How to talk to children about the Trump shooting

Exposure to the images of former President Donald Trump with a bloodied face after the Saturday rally in Butler County can be disturbing for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for children, health experts say.

“If parents are able to limit exposure to what happened, that’s beneficial,” said AHN Dr. Anthony Mannarino, chair of the network’s Psychiatry and Behavioral Health Institute.“The more they see that image over and over, it’s hard to get it out of our minds.”

Parents should have an open line of communication with children, especially teens, and talk to them about what happened.

Honest talks with teens is a chance to make sure the information they’re getting elsewhere is accurate, experts said.

When something disruptive or unusual happens on a large scale, children are usually seeing it on TV or getting glimpses of adult reaction around them, said Mark Lepore, a professor in the rehabilitative studies department at Penn West University.

“The main thing is that they need to know they are safe,” said Lepore, who has a doctorate in counseling and psychology.

Using language that is age appropriate results in realistic reassurance, he said.

“You’re not going to talk to a four-year old about an active shooter, but you might tell a young child that somebody did a bad thing — and most importantly that the adults around you are doing everything in their power to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Clinical psychologist Josh Klapow told Scripps News it’s important that caregivers steer clear of political rhetoric.

“What we can’t do is launch into what our beliefs are about different sides of the aisle in terms of politics, different sides of the aisle in terms of policy,” Klapow said. “That is not relevant to our children in this particular situation.”

For the youngest children, experts say it’s more beneficial to remove worries and doubts than to supply them with details.

As children get older, they naturally become more aware of current events. Cellphones, friends and social media are constant sources of what’s happening around them.

“Older teens know about gun violence in America. They are much more informed,” said Mannarino.

Lepore agreed, saying that because the Trump shooting happened locally, coverage is nearly impossible to avoid.

It doesn’t sit well with kids to act like there’s nothing wrong, he said.

“A famous child psychologist, Bruno Bettelheim, once said that you don’t have to spend a lot of time convincing kids that there are no monsters,” Lepore said. “You have to give them the tools to tame the monsters.”

That, and reinforce who their support system is, Lepore said, so they know who they can go to for conversation.

Once kids reach middle school, it’s helpful for parents to be direct and honest, even when the news can be scary.

Parents should initiate conversations about hot topics to avoid children burying fears or worries, Mannarino said.

“Ask how they are doing and if they want to talk about what they’ve heard,” he said.

“You can’t reassure teens like you can young kids, but you can have an open conversation and they will know they can come to their parents with worries.”