How couples can decorate together

Sharing a home with someone you love can be wonderful. But decorating together isn’t always easy, especially when your tastes aren’t the same.

Interior designer Penny Drue Baird draws as much on her doctorate in psychology as on her design training when she works with couples decorating a home.

“I’m there as the mediator, like a marital therapist,” Baird says, “working out how to approach it so both persons don’t feel like they’re the one that can’t get what they want.”

Here, Baird and two other New York-based interior designers — Deborah Martin and Michelle Gerson — discuss how couples can tackle the sometimes challenging task of decorating shared space.

Sharing your vision

All three designers begin by doing an intake meeting with a couple to find out “everything that they are hoping to achieve, and the look they feel like they’re going for,” Baird says. Clients will bring photos they’ve ripped from magazines or show pages from design books to help explain what appeals to them.

A couple can sit down together and have this sort of meeting even if they aren’t working with a designer. By showing your partner what you envision, you may find that you have more common ground than you realized. Martin says that sometimes a client begins with a preconceived notion that they don’t like a certain pattern or style, but when they see it in context they do like it.

Cohesive compromises

Gerson recommends making a list of items you both need in the room or home you’re decorating. These are the shared must-haves you can agree on, like plenty of seating in the living room if you both like to entertain.

Find that common ground, she says, and try to agree on one major piece of furniture. Maybe it’s a sofa that one partner loves the shape of and the other likes the fabric.

Once each person feels like their biggest requests have been heard, it may be easier to compromise on other details.

Take your time

Gerson says people often are in a rush to completely decorate a room and fill every space. That can lead you to compromises that neither of you like, she says. Don’t be afraid to leave a bit of empty space until you discover the right piece to put there.

“It’s OK if you have a fabulous sofa and a great coffee table and a rug,” Gerson says, to then wait until you stumble upon a wonderful chair you both like that can complete the room.