It’s National Potato Chip Day, and I am completely prepared to die on the hill defending my personal favorite, Zapp’s Voodoo Chips, which are inexplicably — and yet conveniently — only available at my local beer distributor.

Are they so salty and full of fake flavoring that they make my mouth feel like it’s bleeding? Yes, they are. But so far, that hasn’t stopped me from consuming them en masse at regular intervals, and if the Twitter-verse is any indication, many of you feel the same way about your personal favorite.

First off, a quick primer: here’s a CNN Business video showing how Frito-Lay makes its potato chips:

Next, let’s hit on a little history. Black History Month is less than three weeks old, and the potato chip was invented in 1853 by George Crum, the son of an African-American father and Native American mother.

According to Black-Inventor.com and the Original Saratoga Chips Co., a patron at the Moon’s Lake House restaurant where Crum worked in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., sent back his order of French-fried potatoes because he felt they were too soft and too thick.

In an initial bid to teach the man a lesson, Crum sliced the potatoes as thin as he possibly could, fried them until they could no longer be eaten with a fork — bearing in mind that it was considered poor manners to eat anything with your hands at the time — and over-salted them.

Much to his surprise, they were a hit, and have been ever since.

But let’s get to America’s raging debate about what chip is the best — and to be clear, it is National Potato Chip Day, so if you’re out there putting Doritos, Fritos and Funyuns in your top five, I don’t know how to help you.

A prime example is Chris Evans, who not only put a bunch of non-potato chips in his ranking, but also apparently angered Twitter so badly that they want to take his Captain America shield away.

The correct answer is:1. Cool ranch2. Cheetos3. Nacho cheese Doritos 4. Fritos5. BBQ lays6. Original lays

I will not be taking questions. https://t.co/keSJ23IhRN

— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) March 11, 2019

Herr’s is noting a particular coincidence.

Thursday is #NationalPotatoChipDay and Friday is our 73rd #Birthday … coincidence? We think not.

— Herr Foods Inc. (@herrfoods) March 12, 2019

In addition, Herr’s is one of a number of potato chip manufacturers based here in Pennsylvania, in Chester County. Others include Martin’s Kettle Cooked chips (York County), Middleswarth (Snyder County), Hartley’s (Mifflin County), Diffenbach’s (Berks County) and Utz (also York County).

We took an informal poll in the Greensburg office as well.

Twitter user @HNTurtleDove appears to have organized his food pyramid the same way my 6-year-old son did (except for the rum part…).

#NationalPotatoChipDay

Potato chips have 2 of the 4 basic food groups: grease and salt. With rum-and-Coke or Irish coffee to provide alcohol and caffeine, they form an essential part of a balanced diet.

— Harry Turtledove (@HNTurtledove) March 14, 2019

This next one has definitely happened to my wife on more than one occasion.

How many times?!! I know you're nodding your heads ladies.....Hey #HappyThursday Keep it real and happy and thanks for making @KX947 a part of your day! #nationalpotatochipday pic.twitter.com/6DYH1lDT3A

— Linda Martelli (@Lindakx947) March 14, 2019

Trucking company Idealease connected National Potato Chip Day with some actual, legitimate news about the nation’s truck-driver shortage.

Happy #nationalpotatochipday #Drivershortage #facethefacts pic.twitter.com/a8jUQDzsOn

— Idealease Inc. (@IdealeaseInc) March 14, 2019

And finally, we couldn’t do without a little bit of science — did you know your saliva is basically the activator for the flavor in salt-and-vinegar chips?

Try a snack attack #NationalPotatoChipDay In salt/vinegar crisps sodium acetate is used, not acetic acid. Vinegar would make the crisps limp/soggy, whereas crisps are dusted with powdered CH3CO2Na: In the mouth saliva reacts by protonating the acetate giving vinegar #RealTimeChem pic.twitter.com/h9e7HRFI7Y

— eedc (@eedcAndy) March 14, 2019

What’s your favorite potato chip? Leave a comment below, and just know that if you say “salt and vinegar,” you are objectively wrong. This is not up for debate. Fight me.

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