In Pittsburgh, Black love is thriving. The power of romantic Black love is not just about hearts and flowers, it’s about standing strong together in a world that can often be traumatic for Black people to exist in. Here, three couples share their experiences.

High school sweethearts

Casaundra Williams made the declaration during her first day at Pittsburgh CAPA High School in 2003. She said aloud to her best friend at the time and to the whole room: “My future boo is in this room.” Sheldon Williams, a sophomore and fellow vocal major, knew Casaundra was talking about him.

The rest was history — the couple have been married for 12 years and have three sons.

A year after meeting, they became friends and then dated on and off throughout high school. They took a break when Casaundra went away to college at Norfolk State University and Sheldon stayed behind working in Pittsburgh. The two reconvened during a winter break of Casaundra’s sophomore year. In November 2010, during her junior year in college, they took a trip to Las Vegas.

“It was a surprise proposal,” Sheldon said. “I said, hey let’s go to Vegas, have a relaxing trip and take your mind off school for a while.

“I am planning this whole proposal and have been for months. She knows nothing,” said Sheldon, 35, now a City of Pittsburgh firefighter and Pennsylvania Air National Guardsman staff sergeant.

“We made our way over to the Eiffel Tower (in Las Vegas), and got up top. While she was admiring the fountain, I was behind her on one knee just waiting, and I proposed to her on top of the Vegas Eiffel Tower,” he said.

“Of course, I said, ‘yes,’ ” said Casaundra, now 35 and a singer/songwriter and music teacher at CAPA.

The two got married on Aug. 19, 2012, at Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens. For their 10th anniversary, they went to Paris to celebrate.

On a recent anniversary, Sheldon, also known by his artist name Frisson, recorded the song “Anniversaries” and included the vows he wrote for Casaundra on their wedding day.

Now they are working on their own album together, which they plan to release around Valentine’s Day next year.

“We shared that love of music and that is what has brought us together,” Casaundra said.

Courtesy Uju Anya Uju Anya and Sirry Alang  

Loving and living out loud

Uju Anya, 47, an associate professor of second language acquisition at Carnegie Mellon University, and Sirry Alang, 43, an associate professor of Black communities and the social determinants of health at the University of Pittsburgh, have been partners for three years.

The couple met on the social media platform then known as Twitter during the pandemic.

“We had been following each other, and we started to notice each other and like and respond to each other’s things. We had a Clubhouse meeting back when Clubhouse was a thing,” Anya said.

Clubhouse is an audio-based social media platform.

“I invited her to a Clubhouse chat where I had a secret nefarious plan to grill and interview her,” Anya said.

“It was an interrogation,” Alang said with a laugh.

Both women were divorced and had young children when they met.

“I invited her to talk on a panel about Black women loving women and socio-economic issues, and the fact that it is not always easy to talk about class and money and more practical things when you are doing the business of love,” Anya said. “I just put her on the panel and asked a bunch of questions that I wanted to know the answers to, but there happened to be an audience there validating my curiosity.”

At first, they had a pandemic love story, trying to sync movies across Zoom for dates. When they met in person in Harrisburg, a mid-point between their locations, sparks flew, but Anya labeled the relationship as untenable because of the distance.

What Anya wasn’t aware of during their first meeting was that Alang was in the job market and looking to do something new. Alang ended up taking on a job in Pittsburgh and buying a home. She said she was hesitant to tell Anya that because she didn’t want it to seem like she was uprooting her life just to be with her. But three years later, their love is steadfast.

“Everything with her is a fun experience, even the most mundane things are an adventure. With Sirry, it’s so much laughter and intelligence because she has these brilliant solutions for things,” Anya said.

“She cares about the same things I care about, we have a good time and we have real conversations, plus she looks extremely hot and sexy,” Alang said.

Their love is a safe space and home, especially in a world where many Queer people are closeted. Their love does not come without challenges and sometimes violent threats, but they say they had the privilege of being able to love and live out loud.

The way they get past conflict is constant communication. Both women are now in their 40s and said they show up in the relationship as whole people.

“We know the patterns that are unhealthy,” Alang said.

Both women have ethnic backgrounds from West Africa. Anya was born in Enugu, a city in the southeast part of Nigeria. She also identifies as Trinidadian. Alang was born in Bamenda, Cameroon. Anya’s father was born in Alang ’s hometown.

When they both think about Black love, they say that it is the fundament of their relationship.

“What we have the most in common, our vibiest vibes, have to do with our global Blackness. We are Black Africans, we also have U.S. experience and we are both Queer,” Anya said. “Black love nourishes us and keeps us sane and whole.”

Shaylah Brown | TribLive Doug and Linda Webster at their Penn Hills home.  

Ordained by God

Doug, 65, and Linda Webster, 68, realized they’d both forgotten Valentine’s Day was coming up. This year, they’ll be married for 41 years. Many of their dates are spontaneous anyway, maybe to a jazz club or an art exhibition that Doug Webster has. They are both artists: Doug is a painter, carpenter and musician; and Linda is a makeup artist.

They grew up in Lincoln-Larimer, a five-minute walk away from each other. They had always orbited each other’s atmosphere but never met.

Linda’s friend growing up had a brother who was best friends with Doug. Linda’s mother also worked with Doug’s sister. They attended the same high school, though not at the same time. They even attended the same college, The Art Institute of Pittsburgh, and still never met.

Linda would see Doug on the bus with his portfolio, which caught her eye.

“He is an artist through and through, everything about him,” Linda said. “He stands out everywhere because he is so different.”

Back in the early ‘80s, Doug dressed like people did in the 1940s — zoot suits, watch chains and his hair in a center part.

“I was intrigued, like who is this guy that is so strange and different?” Linda said.

Finally, they were both at the same house party and met. They said they felt like the only people in the room.

They dated for about a year and then parted ways but stayed friends.

“I was a single mom at the time and I was ready to be in a serious relationship — and I came to know God. (Doug) was still a party guy,” Linda said.

Linda’s son loved Doug. He was a gentleman “with no money mind you, but I still got flowers,” Linda said. “He was so nice and sweet and I would say, ‘Are you sure you’re not a Christian?’ because he was just so nice, giving, loving. But I just wanted to settle down.”

While they were apart, both of Doug’s parents passed away — his father was shot and killed and his mother had a heart attack.

Linda sent a sympathy card and Doug came to her church. He started to come consistently, accepted God into his life and they began dating again.

God is the center and foundation of their relationship.

One day, Doug was on the bus and watched a couple get on.

“They were holding hands and they looked like they were so in love. They had wedding rings on their fingers,” Doug said. “I said to my buddy, ‘I want to get married when I’m young and have that type of relationship.’ ”

Dough proposed to Linda that day — no ring, it was not a traditional proposal. Instead, they got matching diamond earrings.

“He didn’t really say, ‘Will you marry me?’ ” Linda said. “But he said, ‘I think I want to get married,’ and I said, ‘OK, to me?’ ”

They married when Doug was 24 and Linda was 27.

“Sometimes when she’s washing dishes or cooking dinner, she’ll start singing and that was something my mother used to do,” Doug said. “I believe God ordained our marriage. We grew together.”

They have two sons, one daughter and a host of grandchildren. When their entire family comes together, it is a big affair.

The couple now lives in Penn Hills and helps counsel other young couples at Covenant Church of Pittsburgh.

Advice

For those still looking for that love, Linda Webster said to do what you love, just be yourself, love yourself.

Casuandra Williams recommends the same — showing up as your most authentic self and prioritizing self-growth and discovery.

It’s an honor for both Sheldon and Casaundra Williams, part owners of Hook Fish and Chicken in Homestead, to be a representation of Black love for their three boys.

“It’s top tier. I am excited that our kids get to see it. They will see him hug me and they are like ’ewwww.’ The fact that they get to see that is important,” she said. “Black love exists. It might not be showcased, I believe because people are afraid to showcase us in that light because it gives us more power, but it does still matter.”

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